I was all zen leaving church tonight, until this a-hole making a left turn cut us off while we were walking across the street. My surprise turned into a “Yo! Watch it!” and then a “Jackass!” when I realized the offending driver was behind the wheel of a hummer. I screamed at the dude because for a second, I felt totally vulnerable to the hurrywarts in the world. I felt every fear that my kid is going to be snatched from me by a reckless driver or a kidnapper or cancer…and then the fear that by fearing all those things, they’ll come to pass. All the trust I claim and try to put in Jesus flies out the window when mama bear rears her head and I become a foul-mouthed hypocrite.

While my indignation still hung in the air on Broad Street, the gas-guzzler rolled by and I saw a kid’s face pressed up against the half-open back window.

Fuck.

Lord, have mercy.