I wonder why I haven’t heard back from my professor yet about my book?
Come on, Sarah, it’s only been, like, two hours. Give him time to get through traffic and get home, for crying out loud.
Duh, of course. I’m being unreasonable.
[a day passes]
OK, but I would have expected, like, a text or something by now indicating something that he liked or, like, marking the number of times that he’s already cried. Maybe I’m too much of a Debbie downer? Maybe I was even snarkier and more obnoxious than I remember and it makes reading painful?
Sarah, it’s fine. He told you once he’s a slow reader, remember? Plus, dude’s on sabbatical, has family that he enjoys spending time with, and a life. Plus, it was a really nice weekend. The world doesn’t revolve around you!
(sigh) You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right.
[two days pass]
Shit. Shit. Shit.
What now? For crying out loud. Get it together.
It’s just that…he’s clearly discovered that I’m an impostor and he’s trying to find the nicest way to tell me that I am fundamentally incapable of doing theology.
I don’t think so, he seems to genuinely think you’re smart.
No, for real. You wrote a lot, and it’s only been three days.
Three and a half. Almost four. And he said he was going to read it right away.
Seriously, get a grip, Sarah. He’s got other things to do.
Maybe I should email him? Joke about whether or not he regrets agreeing to grant me a degree?
Oh, please don’t. No one likes the smell of a desperate approval-seeker.
(sniff) Is that what that is? I thought it was just my new deodorant…Do you think this is weirdly passive aggressive, or charmingly vulnerable and honest?
It’s hard to tell. I give up.
No, wait! I didn’t mean to make you mad! Come back!